How to Arouse a Woman, Part One

There are few things that empower a man more than his ability to arouse a woman sexually. But not every guy knows which buttons to push, since there seem to be so many, and each chick is wired differently.

So to make things manageable, I present to you an itemized list of tools, with the hope that I can bring some order to this often bewildering topic.


Before we get started, let me clarify what we’re talking about. You want to get girls horny, with the ultimate goal being sex. Most articles I reviewed pertaining to “how to turn on women” made much reference to stuff like romance and being a gentleman. That’s fine, but for the purpose of this article, I’m gonna assume you have these other aspects covered. Let’s instead discuss the stuff that actually gets her lady bits wet. Sound fun? Super duper.


First, you will need a scale to refer to telling you where a girl is…bone dry to dripping wet. Here you go…


Levels of Arousal


Having a system to tell a girl's readiness to bang based on her arousal would be very useful. Of course, you can't put a probe in her birth canal to measure drippiness, and so much of this may be a judgment call. When trying to gauge a girl’s level of arousal, look for a cluster of behaviors indicating where she's at; any single cue out of context may not be reliable.


And finally, this is NOT a ladder. Some guys have devised escalation ladders (starting with the back of your hand on her elbow, ending up with sex), but I think they’re lame and artificial. You may start escalation with a girl by grabbing her ass or making out with her, then jump back down to very light friendly touch, and then leap forward to foreplay. It’s this kind of unpredictable and dominant behavior that turns girls on, not the standard and safe linear progression a ladder would have you follow.


The scale goes from 1 to 10, where 1 is unaroused and 10 is highly eager to fuck. At 8 and above, girls are usually pretty horny and good to go. Use your intuition and calibration, and don’t look at this like a rule book. These are just indicators you can refer to when trying to discern her readiness.


Level 1

High fives, hand shakes, knuckle bumps

Side hugs

Thumb war


Level 2

Simple, friendly hugs

Arm-in-arm walking


Level 3

She slaps your thigh while seated

Holding hands, fingers not intertwined

Tickling her

Longer hugs, held tighter

Briefly massaging her shoulders while she sits


Level 4

Hold hands, fingers intertwined

Caress her forearm


Level 5

Smack her ass (and she's ok with it)

She squeezes your thigh

She sits on stool, straddling your legs/body as you stand

Snuggling/spooning


Level 6

Her palm on your chest briefly

Massage her upper back while she's lying down

Caressing her face, neck or hair

Brief kisses, mouth to mouth

She runs her fingers through your hair


Level 7

Light making out. She doesn’t use tongue much.

Her hand stays on your chest, such as squeezing your nipple

Massage her lower back, thigh and butt

Kissing/biting her neck

You clench her hair at the back of her head

Having her suck your thumb

Caressing her lips with your finger

Touch her breast over her clothes

Briefly touching (but not rubbing) her vag area over clothes


Level 8

Heavy making out. She uses her tongue/sucks/bites

She initiates the make outs

She’s got her hand on your junk, outside of pants

Squeezing her ass during makeout

Playing with her breasts, skin-on-skin

Sucking her nipple

She keeps her arm across your lap with her elbow touching your cock

As you hold hands, the back of hers is against your cock

Stands with her pelvis against yours, rocking or gyrating

You briefly rub her cooch over clothes


Level 9

She’s giving you head

She’s rubbing your junk, skin on skin

You’re intensely rubbing her cooch over her clothes


Level 10

Fingering her or eating her out


In part two, I’ll define the various forms of stimulation at your disposal.