Women are Indecisive. Wait, no they're not.

In my research on how to get my word out to women, I stumbled upon this interesting article by Holly Buchanan.

Are Women Indecisive?

Men and women really do make decisions differently. Though Holly is coming from a marketing background, the mindsets are the same when talking about relationships.

"Think back to hunter-gatherer days when men were focused on the short-term outcome - hunting their pray to bring home that night to eat. Women were focused on longer-term objectives, like having enough food to last the winter."

It's not much different with sex. A man goes out at night to find his conquest, focused on the short-term gain. A woman tends to go about things more tentatively, often anxious about relinquishing herself sexually. Even after she has carefully considered all the possible consquences (real ones, like pregnancy, STDs and social stigma), she still may erect barriers between her and her sexual desires.

Often, men become frustated by her apparent unwillingness, even though she clearly seems willing. The key then is in realizing that women come to decisions with greater awareness of the risks compared to men. The man needs to acknowledge this fact, and respect it.

As Holly says, women are not always averse to taking risks. They simply need to run their checklist: will he judge me? is he creepy? do I feel safe with him? does he respect me?

Then when she has processed all these variables (which, by the way, are primarily occuring on an emotional and subconscious level, not a logical or conscious one), she will make her decision.

The article encourages salespeople to find out what concerns a woman has, why she is hesitating. With seduction, sometimes this works but often it doesn't. It's typically best to be aware of and assume what things give women pause; what these things are varies only slightly from one woman to the next. Meaning, they typically tend to want the man to take responsibility, to make her feel safe, to engage her emotionally, et cetera.

She goes on to recommend the use of testimonials. In pick-up, we have a term called "preselection," which in essence is your testimonial page. By hanging out with other women, she realizes (at least on a primitive level) that you have "good genes."

Finally, she urges salespeople to sell with stories, not facts. True again, you rarely will attract a girl by handing her your resume, regardless how spectacular it is. She needs to feel your value, emotionally, whether through the stories you tell or the way you handle yourself.